Ok, so most of the people who read this silly attempt to blog already know what is going on in my world lately. If not, this will not be a pleasant start to a post. I may not even post this but just use this as a way to gather my thoughts - they always seem to become more orderly in my head when I write them down.
Series of unfortunate events:
- Middle of February - after a 7 day cruise with my hubby, discover a lump in my left breast. It feels a little like contracted muscles - tight and a little uncomfortable when pressed. Agree to get it checked out.
- Early March - celebrate my 39th birthday and call to schedule appointment with ob/gyn. Doctor is out of town for the following week (Spring Break) and appointment would be pushed to April so agree to see Nurse Practitioner instead. Pay large amount of money (unmet deductible) to have her tell me that I have a lump and need to get it checked.
- Mid-March - schedule appointment for mammogram and ultrasound. It was a Tuesday. Laid on the gurney and could see the ultrasound and the large black spot on the screen. Radiologist goes over the spot again and says we need to schedule a biopsy. She is also concerned about the lymph nodes under my left arm. Nurse walks me out and explains that I shouldn't be worried, God is in control. She tells me that she gets on her knees every morning and prays for her patients - and has for the last 15 years. I thank her - such a sweet lady! They want me to schedule appointment for the next day, but I had jury duty scheduled for the next day. So, we set it for Friday morning.
- Wednesday of that week - I drive downtown for jury duty and come seriously close to getting selected for a murder trial that will take at least 14 days of court room time. When they ask if anyone has any medical reasons or trips planned, I raise my hand and explain the biopsy scheduled. Desperate prayers are sent up as I sit throughout the day and wait for their decision to be made - thankfully they were able to come up with 12 people out of the 80 and it did not include me!
- Friday of that week - my parents drive in the night before so that they can help over the weekend and mom can go with me to the appointment. I have already requested my husband to go - since I don't know what all will transpire. Mom and Hubs wait while I am poked. It was much more painful than I had anticipated, but overall the recovery was pretty quick. I tried to watch Frozen with little bit but couldn't stay awake. I had committed to going with several of our women to a women's conference that night and the next day - and since only two of us knew the way, I knew I would be driving. I kept ice packs in proper places and some extra in the car to trade out as needed throughout the night. It was a great service - absolutely felt the peace of God! Was worn out that night so didn't stay for fellowship (even though I would have loved to) and headed home. Up the next day and back again. I had a crazy feeling during the service, as she preached on Esther, as if the Lord was placing a huge heavy robe as for a queen upon my shoulders. It was strange because everyone else was shouting and jumping and praising, and I was worn out but feeling the weight of the robe like a warm blanket. It was like grace and peace and the only word I could use to describe it is 'regal'. I don't know what it means or how it fits into this 'journey', but I believe there is some significance. Both boys had games that day, but in different places. So we finished out the day at games and eating out with the parents. That weekend was the busiest we have had in a long time - and maybe it was like that so that my mind was occupied with family and other things - but I was completely covered in peace!
- Results week - I was told 3 to 5 days, and it took the full 5 days for results to come back, but they went straight to the ob/gyn's office and they were closed on a late Friday afternoon. So, I called repeatedly the next Monday (over 1 week later) and could only get the answering service. I called the clinic that did the work to see if they could make a suggestion or if they had a back number to the doctor. The 'nurse navigator' assured me that they could not give results, they had to come from the doctor, but that she would help me find out what I needed. I finally got through the next day, Tuesday and scheduled an appointment for Thursday to go into the office.
- Thursday - almost two weeks after the biopsy, we wait in the waiting room for over an hour and are ushered into an exam room. The office is undergoing some transition so they are in an upheaval (hence the day and a half of no phones), so the nurses begin to prep me for an exam and I assure them I am only there for results. The nurses quickly get the doctor who comes in and hugs me. I've known her since she delivered little bit over 5 years ago. She begins with shaking her head and tells me she does not have good news. . . (To be continued)
Series of unfortunate events:
- Middle of February - after a 7 day cruise with my hubby, discover a lump in my left breast. It feels a little like contracted muscles - tight and a little uncomfortable when pressed. Agree to get it checked out.
- Early March - celebrate my 39th birthday and call to schedule appointment with ob/gyn. Doctor is out of town for the following week (Spring Break) and appointment would be pushed to April so agree to see Nurse Practitioner instead. Pay large amount of money (unmet deductible) to have her tell me that I have a lump and need to get it checked.
- Mid-March - schedule appointment for mammogram and ultrasound. It was a Tuesday. Laid on the gurney and could see the ultrasound and the large black spot on the screen. Radiologist goes over the spot again and says we need to schedule a biopsy. She is also concerned about the lymph nodes under my left arm. Nurse walks me out and explains that I shouldn't be worried, God is in control. She tells me that she gets on her knees every morning and prays for her patients - and has for the last 15 years. I thank her - such a sweet lady! They want me to schedule appointment for the next day, but I had jury duty scheduled for the next day. So, we set it for Friday morning.
- Wednesday of that week - I drive downtown for jury duty and come seriously close to getting selected for a murder trial that will take at least 14 days of court room time. When they ask if anyone has any medical reasons or trips planned, I raise my hand and explain the biopsy scheduled. Desperate prayers are sent up as I sit throughout the day and wait for their decision to be made - thankfully they were able to come up with 12 people out of the 80 and it did not include me!
- Friday of that week - my parents drive in the night before so that they can help over the weekend and mom can go with me to the appointment. I have already requested my husband to go - since I don't know what all will transpire. Mom and Hubs wait while I am poked. It was much more painful than I had anticipated, but overall the recovery was pretty quick. I tried to watch Frozen with little bit but couldn't stay awake. I had committed to going with several of our women to a women's conference that night and the next day - and since only two of us knew the way, I knew I would be driving. I kept ice packs in proper places and some extra in the car to trade out as needed throughout the night. It was a great service - absolutely felt the peace of God! Was worn out that night so didn't stay for fellowship (even though I would have loved to) and headed home. Up the next day and back again. I had a crazy feeling during the service, as she preached on Esther, as if the Lord was placing a huge heavy robe as for a queen upon my shoulders. It was strange because everyone else was shouting and jumping and praising, and I was worn out but feeling the weight of the robe like a warm blanket. It was like grace and peace and the only word I could use to describe it is 'regal'. I don't know what it means or how it fits into this 'journey', but I believe there is some significance. Both boys had games that day, but in different places. So we finished out the day at games and eating out with the parents. That weekend was the busiest we have had in a long time - and maybe it was like that so that my mind was occupied with family and other things - but I was completely covered in peace!
- Results week - I was told 3 to 5 days, and it took the full 5 days for results to come back, but they went straight to the ob/gyn's office and they were closed on a late Friday afternoon. So, I called repeatedly the next Monday (over 1 week later) and could only get the answering service. I called the clinic that did the work to see if they could make a suggestion or if they had a back number to the doctor. The 'nurse navigator' assured me that they could not give results, they had to come from the doctor, but that she would help me find out what I needed. I finally got through the next day, Tuesday and scheduled an appointment for Thursday to go into the office.
- Thursday - almost two weeks after the biopsy, we wait in the waiting room for over an hour and are ushered into an exam room. The office is undergoing some transition so they are in an upheaval (hence the day and a half of no phones), so the nurses begin to prep me for an exam and I assure them I am only there for results. The nurses quickly get the doctor who comes in and hugs me. I've known her since she delivered little bit over 5 years ago. She begins with shaking her head and tells me she does not have good news. . . (To be continued)
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